3 Ways that Boundaries Can Help You Prevent Holiday Stress
By: Sarah Whitney, MSW Intern
The holidays can be a wonderful time. Holiday parties, spending time with family, and lots and lots of shopping can make this an exciting time of year. What can sometimes dampen this time of year is financial stress, overbooked calendars, pressures to buy gifts, travel far, and host or attend dinners. No matter what is causing you to stress this season, by establishing boundaries, this holiday season you can save yourself a lot of trouble and keep this time of year joyful and bright. Setting boundaries is a practice of clearly determining and expressing what you are willing and not willing to do. You can set boundaries with family, friends, and even yourself. Here are a few ways that clear boundaries can help keep your stress low this season.
1) Say No: Saying no is maybe the most difficult boundary to set for oneself. Telling your family and friends no is something that many of us are not comfortable doing. Unfortunately, we are also not comfortable with the results of saying yes to everything. Do you always host holidays at your house even though you don’t want to? Do you talk yourself into attending every party you’re invited to from November to January even though you end up pretty exhausted and socially drained after? Figure out what things you may be saying yes to that aren’t serving you and think about how it might feel to say no. Saying no seems more stressful, but that is not always the case.
2) Set spending limits and stick to them: Boundaries are an important skill to have not only for interpersonal relationships but for your relationship with yourself. This season, decide what a realistic boundary is for you when it comes to spending. This season can become quite expensive with gifts, events, and travel, so set that boundary for yourself and respect it.
3) Set an intention for yourself: Sometimes reducing stress is about prioritizing and figuring out what is most important to you. Is it watching movies with your nieces? Maybe it’s going to a light show with your sister? It could even just be the feeling you get when you do something good for someone else. What feels essential to you this season? When you tap into what is important to you, you’re able to focus your energy on those things. That not only reduces stress, but it actively counteracts stress with positive experiences. Whatever the important things are to you this season, get clear on them and make sure you make it happen.
These are just a few ways that you can set a boundary to give yourself a little more peace of mind this season. Try writing down your plans for each category and see if it is something you think you can do. Boundaries are all about preserving your well-being and maintaining control of your time, space and energy. If there are more areas of your life that you feel you can use boundaries in, or if you’re having trouble with setting boundaries in general, give us a call here at TMC and one of our clinicians will happily provide guidance and feedback on setting boundaries and reducing stress.
Happy Holidays from us here at Transformative Mind Counseling!